Brookfield Purchases Burlington Rail Line, Renames it “CityTrench”

BURLINGTON – Brookfield Asset Management, the company responsible for the creation of Burlington’s beloved downtown pit, is planning a second project that could rival the pit in popularity. B. Ass. Man. has purchased the abandoned railway tracks between downtown Burlington and Essex Junction, with plans to dig up the old tracks and then leave a huge gaping trench where the tracks once lay.

“We’re very excited about what CityTrench will mean for Burlington,” said current Mayor Miro Weinberger. “The pit is great, obviously, but it isn’t accessible to all residents. Parking around the pit is limited, ever since we turned most of our downtown street parking into restaurant seating, and it’s also hard to see the pit with all of the large billboard advertisements that were placed around it. With CityTrench, what you’re going to see is the city bringing a little bit of the pit to more of the people.”

Burlington residents were conflicted about the idea, with some upset about the healthy blades of grass that would be destroyed if the project were to ever see completion, while others were hopeful that the trench would provide a place for the homeless to hang out where no one would have to look at, think about, or help them in any way.

“Can we trust Brookfield?” asked Pine Street resident Vera Nimby. “I know they’ve done a wonderful job with the pit, but there are still rumors they may plan to eventually build something there. I like the idea of the trench, as long as it doesn’t go near my house, but what if some future mayor decides to build things instead of leaving most of the town to decay? I don’t want to see the trench turn into affordable housing or something.”

Brookfield addressed these concerns at a recent city council meeting, assuring everyone there that, while on paper they needed to show their investors that there were plans to move forward with various construction projects, there would not be any progress towards ruining the beautiful pit or trench any time soon.

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