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Burlington

Burlington Mayoral Candidates Debate the Issues with The Winooski

February 19, 2021 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – The three leading candidates in Burlington’s mayoral race sat down virtually for a bonus debate hosted by Vermont’s leading satire site, The Winooski […]

Vermont Bartenders Get Creative with Pandemic Drinks

November 23, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Creative mixologists have created such alcoholic treats as “The COVID Closure”, “Pandemic Beater”, “ Nasal Tester”, “Runny Noser” and “Masked Martini” in the […]

Burlington Combats Police Violence With Police Violins

October 24, 2020 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Think of a police quartet singing “Moonlight In Vermont” on Church Street on a Friday evening. The Burlington Police Commission has adopted a […]

Burlington Mayor Too Late to Join Battery Park Protestors

October 12, 2020 The Winooski 0

In a “Dear Organizers” letter to protest organizers, dated September 4, Mayor Weinberger announced his support for black lives. A mayor’s office insider told this […]

College Students Struggle Romantically During Pandemic

October 5, 2020 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – Colleges across America are experiencing a significant reduction in opportunities for the traditional intermingling of the various genders. Dances called off; mixers postponed […]

Who Ya Gonna Call? – Partybusters Squad Forms in Burlington

September 15, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Colleges in Vermont are making rigorous efforts to break up student parties. As the weather gets colder the parties will descend indoors. The […]

Masks and the Alfred E. Neuman Effect

August 22, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – The effect of wearing masks is already beginning to manifest in children born in China. OBGYNs expect the phenomenon to show up in […]

F-35s and BlackHawks Buzz UVM Green

August 17, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – A Friday, August 14 press conference organized by Burlington City Councilors turned into a melee after President Trump ordered a military response to […]

Burlington City Center Wasteland To Become Massive Flower Garden

August 4, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – With the popular cheese plan failing to fully coagulate, acting Burlington City Horticulturalist Rose Dahlia has engineered a plan to plant massive amounts […]

Burlington City Council Considering Proposal to Mold the Biggest Block of VT Cheddar Ever

July 28, 2020 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – With the confirmation that CityPlace is never, and was never, going to be built, Burlington City Council is fielding new proposals for use […]

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Recent Posts

  • Vermont Schools to Abollish Speling March 1, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #195 – 2/28/21 – Spring Weather February 28, 2021
  • Barbershops and Hair Salons Proposed as Vaccination Sites February 22, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #194 – 2/21/21 – Mars February 21, 2021
  • Burlington Mayoral Candidates Debate the Issues with The Winooski February 19, 2021

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  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on Vermont Sends Gift Basket to Iran, Asks to Be Left Out of Revenge Plans
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on 2019: A Look Back at Vermont’s Most Recent Year Ever

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