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Burlington

Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

August 19, 2021 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – After months of speculation, committee meetings, community input, and Zoom meetings, the city of Burlington has announced that the new high school will […]

City Council Considers Plan to Sink Burlington High School in Lake Champlain

May 7, 2021 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – After months of debate with no clear solutions in sight, the Burlington City Council will now debate a proposed plan for dealing with […]

Chase Bank Removes Mural in Response to Complaints From Angry Racists

March 11, 2021 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – A group of racist people have complained about an new ad on Church Street, claiming that the ad itself is racist, and definitely […]

Burlington Mayoral Candidates Debate the Issues with The Winooski

February 19, 2021 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – The three leading candidates in Burlington’s mayoral race sat down virtually for a bonus debate hosted by Vermont’s leading satire site, The Winooski […]

Vermont Bartenders Get Creative with Pandemic Drinks

November 23, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Creative mixologists have created such alcoholic treats as “The COVID Closure”, “Pandemic Beater”, “ Nasal Tester”, “Runny Noser” and “Masked Martini” in the […]

Burlington Combats Police Violence With Police Violins

October 24, 2020 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Think of a police quartet singing “Moonlight In Vermont” on Church Street on a Friday evening. The Burlington Police Commission has adopted a […]

Burlington Mayor Too Late to Join Battery Park Protestors

October 12, 2020 The Winooski 0

In a “Dear Organizers” letter to protest organizers, dated September 4, Mayor Weinberger announced his support for black lives. A mayor’s office insider told this […]

College Students Struggle Romantically During Pandemic

October 5, 2020 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – Colleges across America are experiencing a significant reduction in opportunities for the traditional intermingling of the various genders. Dances called off; mixers postponed […]

Who Ya Gonna Call? – Partybusters Squad Forms in Burlington

September 15, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Colleges in Vermont are making rigorous efforts to break up student parties. As the weather gets colder the parties will descend indoors. The […]

Masks and the Alfred E. Neuman Effect

August 22, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – The effect of wearing masks is already beginning to manifest in children born in China. OBGYNs expect the phenomenon to show up in […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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