Local Hoarder Takes Fictional Water Shortage Very Seriously
BURLINGTON – H.T. Oats started storing water after reading a Facebook post from a real doctor (of literature, not medicine, but still a smart guy) […]
Burlington
Burlington Finally Solves Parking Problem
BURLINGTON – Residents of Vermont’s largest city are reporting a sudden wealth of parking spaces all around the downtown area, after years of complaining that […]
Burlington Free Press Sees Sudden Spike in Print Subscriptions
BURLINGTON – Local newspaper Burlington Free Press is struggling to understand what has caused the recent jump in print subscriptions, vs. online only readership. Subscriptions […]
Burlington Mayor Accused of Parking Gas Car in “Mayor Only” Parking Spot
BURLINGTON – Still feeling the backlash from his City Market “Bag Scandal,” Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger is now suffering another political blow, after someone photographed […]
Burlington Mayor Accused of Accepting Plastic Bag at City Market
BURLINGTON – Another scandal has hit the Queen City this week, after multiple witnesses report seeing Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger leaving City Market with a […]
Transgender Agenda Revealed to Be Blank Piece of Paper
BURLINGTON – A mild controversy arose this week after the Fletcher Free Library agreed to allow a feminist group to meet about combating the transgender […]
Burlington Mayor Threatens to Replace Acting Police Chief With Someone Even Worse if Officer Morale Does Not Improve
BURLINGTON – Faced with increasingly low morale in the department, Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger has informed the officers of the BPD that they had better […]
Champlain Housing Trust to Begin Manufacturing Homes Out of Hemp
BURLINGTON – With Vermont hemp growers now legally able to produce their favorite plant, but still unable to sell it, artisans are looking into way […]
Bernie Sanders Drops Out of Presidential Race to Once Again Become Mayor of Burlington, VT
BURLINGTON – The swamp of D.C. and the left coast of Vermont continued to be shaken to their institutional core this week. Besieged by critics, […]
Peace and Justice Center Director Steps Down After Failing to Deliver a Championship Win
BURLINGTON – After seven seasons leading the Peace and Justice Center team, Executive Director Rachel Siegel is stepping down amid claims the world is less […]