Governor Offers Prince Harry and Meghan Markle $10,000 Each to Move to Vermont

MONTPELIER – The prize money for moving Vermont has gone down to only $7500, but that didn’t stop Governor Phil Scott from offering $10,000 each to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in exchange for their residency. The $20,000 package would be the largest sum ever paid to anyone in an attempt to lure them away from Canada, not counting the $120M sale of the Montreal Expos against their will.

The royal couple recently announced their move to Canada, prompting many to wonder why they wouldn’t just move to Vermont. No official explanation was given for why Canada is apparently so much better than Vermont, but with an extra twenty grand to sweeten the deal, sources inside the State House are confident that a new decision will be announced shortly.

“I can’t think of any reason why anybody would rather live in Canada,” Gov. Scott said. “I mean sure, less crime, cleaner environment, free health care, hardly any mass shootings, super hot leader, but on the other hand, ten thousand bucks each! I think they’ll be, how do they say it, quids in.”

We were unable to reach anyone on the royal side of things for comment, although we did get a statement from South Canada regarding their own plans to attract the celebrity couple.

“South Canada would like to publicly offer six square acres of dirt and an unlimited supply of frozen zucchini left over from the summer to Meghan Markle and her husband Harold if they would move to our small country and tell us secrets about the Queen of England.”

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2 Comments

  1. It’s a little bit funny. But not too funny. Because there is nothing funny about using tax revenue taken from tired, underpaid, and overcharged Vermonters and giving it to the people who cash in on this scam, further depressing the demand for LOCAL labor, and enabling jobs to be filled for less money per hour. (IE: A shortage of labor is how you drive up hourly rates. Period!). These folks also further stress infrastructure (schools, roads, water, air quality etc.), and increase demand…and thereby, costs for housing.

    If you’re going to give anybody a deal…give it to job makers like GE, and IBM. And you DONT give them cash…you just give them a “deal” and maybe ease regulatory burdens to attract them. As a working native Vermonter I’m darn tired of being leaned on constantly to pay for more and more foolishness.

    The legislature should have simple goals. Cut costs for Vermonters and the industries that employ us. Legislate against ANY policy or occurrence that throws off the NATURAL balance of economy. For example….low cost, undocumented labor has enabled mega farms. Mega farms flood the market with cheap dairy products, which family farms can NOT compete with. At a minimum…eliminating undocumented labor would force mega farms to adjust pay rates high enough to attract tax paying Vermonters to their door. I’m saying…Shutting down that source of farm labor would begin to restore the balance in the economy that once supported the family farm. This kind of thinking has to spread across ALL sectors in order to right the future of our state.

    Kill the 7500 dollar bribe and slap the hand of whoever came up with that idea. If Megan and Harry want to come here…fine…but it should be because we are an affordable, thrifty and wise choice. Not a lazy, over bloated state full of people looking for the next government handout.

  2. If you look at the plan for the “payments” made for relocation to VT it is more like a rebate then an upfront offer…..it’s more like a tax refund that counters the costs you pay up front.

    Not saying I agree with the Gov on how hot Trudeau is….but hey it almost worked

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