MONTPELIER – As if the Vermont Department of Health didn’t have enough to take care of, the Presidents latest advice to inject bleach, Lysol or “Sunshine” for COVID 19 has forced them to ramp up the Mr. Yuk – Stay Away from Poisons program.
The President’s suggestion that “… something, ya know, should be able to clean your insides out because this thing is some number and… oh, look, a butterfly!” was deemed to be unhelpful, untrue, and unsafe by members of the VDH.
Long time cleaning icon Mr. Clean meanwhile pressed the White House to “come clean” on whether there’s some behind the scenes pay-to-play shenanigans afoot. Mr. Clean contends representatives from the White House contacted the management agency that handles his endorsements and asked for a “substantial amount of cash” for the President to mention their product, in any way, shape or form, during his nightly reality TV show.
Sources indicate that the White House used a testimonial from My Pillow.com founder, Michael Lindell to show how sales can jump exponentially from a mention by the the President, and will continue to offer product placement during future episodes.