The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Articles by The Winooski

Syrup & Cows #157 – 6/7/20 – Back to Work

June 7, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Barre Police Promises to Work For Racial Justice By Killing More White People

June 5, 2020 The Winooski 0

BARRE – In response to the nationwide outrage and protests after the murder of George Floyd at the hands of police, the city of Barre, […]

Wilmington Man Running For Governor on Platform of Making Kiddie Cones Small Again

June 4, 2020 The Winooski 0

NEWFANE – Brian Frees never thought he’d be running for governor, but with his campaign up and running he now says it’s the only way […]

Judgmental White People Angry Over Non-Sports Related Riots

June 1, 2020 The Winooski 0

DENVER – The city of Denver, CO, pictured above during the 1998 riots that followed the first Broncos Super Bowl win, has released a statement […]

Syrup & Cows #156 – 5/31/20 – Camping 2020

May 31, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Burlington, UVM Battle COVID-19 By Offering Free Weed to Returning Students

May 29, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – In an effort to stem the spread of the coronavirus, the University of Vermont and the administration of Burlington Mayor Miro Weinburger are […]

Burlington Opens Beaches, Requires Full PPE Suits

May 27, 2020 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – In a first in the Nation move, Burlington Parks & Recreation Inspector General MiMi McGarrett states, “We have mandated full body PPE in […]

South Canadian Military Apprehends Bank Robbers

May 26, 2020 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – After a daring heist that saw almost $80,000 US in South Canadian money being taken from a local bank, the government of […]

Syrup & Cows #155 – 5/24/20 – First Try

May 24, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

VT Amends Proposed Voter ID Law, Changes “Polls” to “Restaurants”

May 23, 2020 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – A proposed voter ID law that would have required Vermonters to show identification before casting a ballot has passed almost unanimously, with one […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

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  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
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