The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Articles by The Winooski

VT Department of Corrections Announces New Plan To Transfer Out-of-State Prisoners to Azkaban

September 24, 2018 The Winooski 0

WILLISTON – After an official inquiry by the Joint Legislative Justice Oversight Committee regarding treatment and transfer of out-of-state prisoners, Vermont’s Department of Corrections has announced […]

Syrup & Cows #068 – 9/23/18 – The Wall

September 23, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Carolinians Accuse Vermonters of “Hurricane Privilege”

September 22, 2018 The Winooski 1

RALEIGH – Residents of both North and South Carolina have been accusing Vermonters of having “Hurricane Privilege” this week after people in the Green Mountain […]

South Canada Launches First Naval Defense Ships

September 21, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – In a move that is causing concern among its neighbors, the tiny nation of South Canada has announced the formation of an […]

Joffrey Baratheon Aquitted of all Crimes, Jury Declares “He Was Only 17”

September 19, 2018 The Winooski 1

KINGS LANDING – Mutiple individuals have come forward over recent months, claiming that they were sexually assaulted, tortured, beheaded, or otherwise attacked by Joffrey Baratheon, […]

Woodford Man Sues eHarmony After Being Paired With Joy Butterworth

September 17, 2018 The Winooski 0

WOODFORD – Online dating service eHarmony.com offers three months of free site access if you are unable to find a meaningful romantic connection, but that […]

Syrup & Cows #067 – 9/15/18 – Holiday Decorations

September 16, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

OPINION: Burlington High School Has a Problem With [REDACTED]

September 15, 2018 The Winooski 2

Hi, my name is [REDACTED] and I am a [REDACTED] at Burlington High School. You may have read recently that our school is having a […]

Local Satire Site Completely Sells Out

September 14, 2018 The Winooski 4

WINOOSKI – Vermont satire site The Winooski has announced that it has sold its soul to new corporate overlords at VTDigger.org and will now provide content […]

Dave Zuckerman Promoted to “Commander Governor” Because Nobody Can Spell “Lieutenant”

September 13, 2018 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – Vermont’s former Lieutenant Governor David “Zuck” Zuckerman has been promoted this week to Commander Governor in a formal ceremony on the state house […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
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  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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