The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

Burlington

South Burlington Woman Receives Ticket For Driving the Speed Limit

June 22, 2019 The Winooski 2

SOUTH BURLINGTON – On Friday morning at 8:52 AM, police issued a traffic citation and fine to Helen Bakke for driving 55 MPH in a […]

Burlington Mayor Not Listening to F-35 Objections Due to Hearing Loss From F-35s

June 13, 2019 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – After an unexpected, and unexpectedly noisy, flyover by the proposed F-35 jets recently, the already fierce opposition has grown even louder to the […]

University of Vermont Offers to Boycott State of Alabama for $26.5M

June 8, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – After the University of Alabama returned a huge donation to major donor Hugh F. Culverhouse Jr. over his political rhetoric, the University of […]

Burlington City Council Bans All Utensils in Restaurants

June 5, 2019 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – If you’re planning to dine at a restaurant in Burlington, be prepared to use your hands. Starting next year restaurants will no longer […]

Vermont Protesters Hoping to Attract Bigger Names to Kick Out of the State

June 4, 2019 The Winooski 0

ESSEX JUNCTION – Vermont’s protester population, one of the largest per capita in the nation, is looking to draw some bigger names to the state […]

GMT Bus Driver Denies Claims of Racism – “I Hate All Children Equally”

May 30, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – New evidence has come to light in the ongoing saga of the Burlington school children who were kicked off of a city bus […]

VT Department of Health Encourages Unvaccinated Children to Eat Food Off Floors

May 21, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – As the number of unvaccinated children in the state grows due to religious beliefs that public health is unimportant and everyone else can […]

Burlington Group Vows to Pre-obstruct Projects That Haven’t Been Proposed Yet

May 20, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Unveiling a new anti-development strategy, local activist Steve Goodkind, who admits to being neither good nor kind, asked, “Why should we opposers have […]

Party-goers Unsure Whether Pot Cookies Are Gluten Free

May 15, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – A small gathering of friends was thrown into chaos this weekend, as party-goers spent a few uncertain moments trying to figure out whether […]

Champlain College to Convert to Student-Owned Cooperative

May 10, 2019 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – Citing issues such as rising costs, lower enrollment, and the need for more student empowerment, Champlain College in Burlington has announced that it […]

Posts navigation

« 1 … 9 10 11 … 28 »

The Winooski E-mail Updates!

Check out the best of The Winooski over at VTDigger!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Strangest Laws in Vermont - Liner Law on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • 2inscrutable on Breaking News: Other States Also Have Weather
  • Robert on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

Back Issues

Copyright © 2025 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes