BURLINGTON – After an unexpected, and unexpectedly noisy, flyover by the proposed F-35 jets recently, the already fierce opposition has grown even louder to the military vehicles. Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger, one of the only dozen people in the state who supports the planes at this point, has still not responded to the complaints that have been flooding his office after people heard the jets in person. Many wondered why he would not answer questions about the devastating noise levels, but now a statement released from his office suggests that he just didn’t hear them.
“Mayor Weinberger would like to apologize for all of the unanswered questions over the past few weeks. After meeting with doctors and a highly specialized audiologist, it has been determined that he has suffered some hearing loss since the end of May when, in an entirely unrelated incident, the F-35 jets took off and flew over his head while he was walking in Winooski. For now, we ask that all questions be submitted in writing. Thank you for your patience.”
Burlington residents did not react positively to this message, saying that the mayor needs to be able to listen to his constituents, but their complaints fell on deaf ears. The mayor’s office has confirmed their full and continued support for the planes.
“With hearing aids and cutting edge inner ear therapy Mayor Weinberger hopes to be able to regain enough of his hearing to enjoy the cheers of the crowd when the F-35s finally make Burlington their permanent home.”
“I just think it’s kind of a tone-deaf response,” said Burlington resident Harry N. Losse. “He knows we don’t want the planes, but he pretends that he doesn’t. Read my lips. No new jets.”
We were able to reach Mayor Weinberger for a quick comment, and asked him about the strong and rising opposition to the planes. He nodded solemnly and then said “What?”
Image Credits: VTDigger.
Mayor Cheeseburger.
Gubbamint should give free earplugs for all Winooskians! It’s the price of Freedom.