The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: June 2019

Syrup & Cows #108 – 6/30/19 – Extra Large

June 30, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Vermont Driving Instructor Fired For Teaching Students To Dim High Beams

June 29, 2019 Paul Carpenter 1

SAINT ALBANS – A Local driving instructor was fired recently over allegations he told students they are required to dim their vehicle’s high beams when […]

Struck Down Bernie Sanders Actually More Powerful Than We Can Possibly Imagine

June 28, 2019 The Winooski 0

MIAMI – Possible Democrat Bernie Sanders took the stage last night at the second of two primary debates, despite being struck down almost three years […]

Vermont to Introduce Water-Based Internet Access

June 27, 2019 The Winooski 0

PANTON – The state of Vermont has announced a new plan to provide internet access to all residents via a new water-based internet technology. Using […]

South Canadians Join Allied Forces As Troops Liberate Texas Concentration Camps

June 26, 2019 The Winooski 0

TEXAS – In a surprise move by allied forces, troops have landed on the shores of Texas in a massive amphibious military assault, breaking through […]

Vermont Running Out of Things to Tax

June 25, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – As the state of Vermont continues to seek new sources of revenue to fund its budget, a potential problem looms on the horizon. […]

Governor Scott Begins Process of Considering Thinking About Deciding on Re-election Plans

June 24, 2019 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – Governor Scott has announced his plans to potentially begin the process that could lead to considering whether or not to think about a […]

Syrup & Cows #107 – 6/23/19 – Seriously

June 23, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

South Burlington Woman Receives Ticket For Driving the Speed Limit

June 22, 2019 The Winooski 2

SOUTH BURLINGTON – On Friday morning at 8:52 AM, police issued a traffic citation and fine to Helen Bakke for driving 55 MPH in a […]

Dorset Farmers Market Now Selling Vegan and Gluten-Free Produce

June 21, 2019 The Winooski 2

DORSET – For anyone in the southern part of the state looking for a vegan alternative to regular vegetables, the Dorset Farmers Market now has […]

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