The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

Month: June 2019

Bored Writer Exaggerates News Story During Alien Invasion

June 20, 2019 The Winooski 1

WINOOSKI – A local satire writer is being accused of going beyond the bounds of normal satire and completely fabricating a story with no tether […]

Plants-Rights Group Launches Campaign Against Weeding

June 19, 2019 The Winooski 0

SHELBURNE – A Shelburne-based, grass-roots political advocacy group called “Plants are People” has launched a new campaign to discourage Vermonters from weeding their gardens. The […]

Summer Officially Cancels Vermont Visit After Weeks of Delay

June 18, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Fans of summer are going to be disappointed this year. The popular season, which was scheduled to arrive in Vermont for a three […]

Mosquito Unable to Find Decent New Spot for a Bite

June 17, 2019 The Winooski 1

GRAND ISLE – It seems as though this year mosquitoes are enjoying a bounty harvest of human blood for their ongoing feast of evil, but […]

Syrup & Cows #106 – 6/16/19 – Spelling Bee

June 16, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

South Canadian President Challenges Donald Trump to a Fight in the UFC Octagon

June 15, 2019 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – In a tweet that most initially assumed was a joke, President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard of South Canada has challenged US President Donald […]

Vermont Supreme Court to Hear Testimony on Pronunciation of “GIF”

June 14, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After years of debate, the greatest divide in our modern society may finally be getting an official, legal decision next week. The Vermont […]

Burlington Mayor Not Listening to F-35 Objections Due to Hearing Loss From F-35s

June 13, 2019 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – After an unexpected, and unexpectedly noisy, flyover by the proposed F-35 jets recently, the already fierce opposition has grown even louder to the […]

US Women’s Soccer Team Agrees to Wear Prosthetic Penises in Exchange for Higher Salaries

June 12, 2019 The Winooski 1

CHICAGO – After winning the Women’s World Cup this week the US Women’s National Soccer Team may be getting a rise in salary, thanks to […]

Gov. Scott Gets Papers Mixed Up, Accidentally Vetoes Wrong Bill

June 11, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – In a curious moment for Vermont politics, Governor Phil Scott has accidentally vetoed a bill on an issue that he has pushed for […]

Posts navigation

« 1 2 3 »

The Winooski E-mail Updates!

Check out the best of The Winooski over at VTDigger!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Strangest Laws in Vermont - Liner Law on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • 2inscrutable on Breaking News: Other States Also Have Weather
  • Robert on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

Back Issues

Copyright © 2023 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes