Bored Writer Exaggerates News Story During Alien Invasion

WINOOSKI – A local satire writer is being accused of going beyond the bounds of normal satire and completely fabricating a story with no tether to reality, completely ignoring the invading hordes of creatures from deep space. The writer in question has claimed that boredom was a factor in adding the fantastical details, although other factors such as the complete destruction of the town of Winooski by the Znarglans may have also contributed.

“I’m a satire writer,” said Anne Animas. “It’s my job to exaggerate the news. But I admit I may have gone a little overboard with this one. Between dodging laser blasts and flying debris, and trying to fight off the invaders in hand-to-tentacle combat, my focus was not one hundred percent on the inability of the governor to sign legislation, or when it is time to start hiding from your zucchini-growing neighbors.”

Many of the details in the story are slight hyperbole, which is to be expected from a satire article, but some of the larger points seem to have no bearing in reality at all, which may have potentially contributed to the interstellar invasion. No linguists have as yet been able to decipher the squishy noises coming out of the top holes of the Znarglans, so their motives remain somewhat opaque. Still, we cannot rule out bad satire writing as a motive.

“It just feels like the same thing, day in and day out,” Animas said. “I had to break the cycle somehow. Sorry if it got a little out of hand. I just thought my version was more exciting. Once I conquer the Znarglans and become their queen I will go back to a more subtle writing style.”

The editor of the satire site could not be reached for comment, having been exploderated in the initial space assault.

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