TEXAS – In a surprise move by allied forces, troops have landed on the shores of Texas in a massive amphibious military assault, breaking through the ICE forces that have held the area for so long. Despite having no navy itself, the small nation of South Canada nevertheless sent troops to join with the soldiers sent from the EU and other allied nations.
Australia, Belgium, Czechoslovakia, Denmark, France, Greece, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway and Poland were among the nations who sent approximately 156,000 soldiers to liberate the tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to be free from the concentration camps of Texas. In the hours before dawn, thousands of paratroopers dropped in behind enemy lines to secure as many roads and bridges as possible before the beach invasion began at sunrise.
“We don’t have many people here,” said South Canadian President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard, “but we had to do something. I’ve seen the ‘facilities’ that these kids are being kept in, the world has seen them, and waiting one more day just wasn’t an option. Kids are dying in there. Are they death camps? Are they being murdered? Well, has anybody every been tried for murder due to neglect? I think they have, so I feel safe in saying that the US Government is murdering children. This isn’t something we’re going to take through the courts for a month. One look and any decent human being would do everything in their power to put an end to this immediately. And since there aren’t very many decent people left in charge of the US, we joined up with the Allies to set the victims free.”
Children rushed out of their cages and into the arms of the liberating soldiers, many with the hopes of being reunited someday with their families. All of the food items and medical supplies that the US had refused to accept on the behalf of the tortured prisoners was taken from where they had been piled around the walls and gates of the camps and distributed freely to the young people as they were led out of the facilities.
“I don’t know how to describe it,” said Hernando Vasquez, 9 years old, a few hours after his camp was liberated. “I saw the men and women, and I knew I was free, but I didn’t really believe it. I still don’t believe it in some ways. And I don’t know where my parents or my sister are, so I am scared. But also happy.”
The men, women, and children began singing and dancing, with many troops joining in the celebration as a light rain began to fall, washing away a bit of the stench that still surrounds the concentration camps devoid of clean water, soap, and toothbrushes.
The US Government has not given an official response to the invasion of Texas and the liberation of the camps, but the White House says that President Trump will deal with this issue swiftly and decisively once he finishes the 18th hole.