State Looks For Better System to Match Candy with Trick-or-Treaters
MONTPELIER – Governor Scott announced a state-wide initiative Wednesday morning that will look for ways to better match up the larger groups of trick-or-treaters with […]
Vermont Life
Smuggler’s Notch Sirens Lure Another Truck to Its Death
CAMBRIDGE – Another tractor-trailer has been lured to its doom by the dangerous creatures who lurk in and around Smuggler’s Notch. The sirens use their […]
Vermont Moves to Deregulate Highways
WATERBURY – In a move to woo the support of the state’s libertarians and teenage drivers, VT. Secretary of Transportation has announced the deregulation of Vermont’s […]
The Winooski Nominated For Pulitzer By Canadian Fake News Site
WINOOSKI – Local satire news site The Winooski, which you are currently reading, has been nominated for a fake Pulitzer Prize by Canadian satire site FauxNews Today. […]
In Least Haunted State, Vermont Businesses Try to Lure Out-of-State Ghosts
WINOOSKI – A 2016 study by Statistic Brain puts the annual death rate for the state of Vermont at 741 per 100,000 people, well below […]
As Parent Weekends End, Students Finally Bring Their Bongs Out of Hiding
MIDDLEBURY – The close of Middlebury College’s Fall Family Weekend on Sunday marks the end of Vermont’s many fall semester parent visitation celebrations, leaving students […]
Only Decent Man On the Internet Finds it Hard to Believe that All Women Have Been Harassed
SWANTON – Chris Virtue has had a rough week. After hundreds of thousands of reports of women being sexually harassed or assaulted began flooding the […]
DNA Results Save Dog From Deportation
HINESBURG – A five-year old psychotherapy dog from Louisiana was spared the ignominy of deportation to a dog-rescue shelter in Vermont on Tuesday, when DNA […]
Vermont Foliage Union Votes to Strike, Leaves Will Remain Green For Foreseeable Future
CRAFTSBURY – Negotiations between Vermont’s leaves and the humans that love them came to a halt Wednesday evening with no deal in sight. The maples, […]
Vermont Cows Now Protesting State-Wide
WINOOSKI – What began as a protest and lobby by local cows singling out Ben & Jerry’s ice cream for a boycott to call attention […]