Burlington Police Ask Public For Help in Search for Missing BTC Proposal
BURLINGTON – The Burlington police department has issued a public alert in the search for a missing proposal this week. The Burlington Telecom proposal is […]
Burlington
Burlington Begins Annual Switch-Over to Winter Roads
BURLINGTON – Drivers may need a few extra minutes on their commutes this week as the city of Burlington begins switching over its all-season roads […]
UVM Eliminates Entire $4M Deficit By Cutting 6 Music and Dance Classes
BURLINGTON – In a sudden and unexpected move, the University of Vermont has completely solved its huge deficit crisis by cancelling six fine arts classes […]
Burlington City Council Banquet Cancelled After Councillors Unable to Choose Main Course
BURLINGTON – An awards banquet hosted by the Burlington City Council was postponed indefinitely after the 12 councilors were unable to come to a decision […]
Open Mic Comedy Night Ruined When Deer Freezes in Spotlight
BURLINGTON – Patrons of Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington weren’t laughing on Wednesday evening as the open mic comedy show had to be suspended after one […]
STUDY: Men Without Daughters Less Able to Understand Basic Human Decency
BURLINGTON – According to a study released this week by the Sanders Institute in Burlington, VT, men without daughters are far less likely to exhibit […]
Karen Pence Still Stuck in Car as Husband Struggles to Find Protest
BURLINGTON – Indiana school teacher Karen Pence has been sitting in her rental car at Burlington International Airport (BTV) for two days now, waiting for […]
Burlington Cyclists Finally Overtake Drivers as Biggest Jerks On Road
BURLINGTON – Ever since Karl Benz drove the first automobile onto the roads in 1885, car drivers have been the biggest jackasses on wheels. But […]
Jared Kushner Purchases Burlington Telecom, Immediately Files For Bankruptcy
BURLINGTON – Following the sudden exits of other potential bidders, the Burlington City Council has made the decision to sell Burlington Telecom to real estate […]
Church Street Struggles to Cope With Entire Protest-Free Day
BURLINGTON – Business owners on Church Street were left struggling yesterday after the cancellation of the “March For Justice” organized by civic group “Vermonters For […]