Tragedy at “Bark n Snooze” Spurs Gun Control Debate

HARRISON, NY – Following the tragedy at “Bark n Snooze,” a posh pet day spa in an upscale suburb of New York City, politicians are now resolved to consider serious gun control legislation. With the investigation still ongoing, officials are unable to name any suspects following Thursday’s incident which left fourteen dogs, three cats and one rabbit dead. 76 other pets were wounded, 19 seriously, and two are fighting for their lives.

Veterinarian First Responders described a scene of carnage and confusion. “Fur was flying, the barking was deafening, and caged animals were panting frantically,” said Fran Omerson, a veterinarian intern with a county clinic. No humans were ever in any danger as the perpetrator was targeting the well-heeled pets. “Frank-Poo was here for his weekly paw massage,” said Bob Frissy, tears in his eyes. His medal-winning shih tzu was one of the pets who were gunned down in cold blood.

“This is intolerable,” a law enforcement official said, speaking off the record. Early evidence suggests the gunman was acting alone, but had amassed an arsenal of pellet guns, small caliber hand guns and at least 20 high performance slingshots. “If Albany doesn’t get its act together,” said Governor Andrew Cuomo, “and do something about how easy it is to get these kinds of weapons, known to have no other purpose than killing innocent animals, then I have to wonder what has happened to the moral fiber of our state and our nation.”

Vermont Governor Phil Scott called Cuomo immediately upon hearing of the tragedy. “This is going to have ramifications all the way to the nation’s Capital,” said Scott. The NRA’s executive vice-president, Wayne LaPierre, has called for immediate action. LaPierre is the owner of two award-winning breeds, a Weimaraner and Blood Hound, as well as three guinea pigs. “This could have been my dog ‘Bump Stock’ lying dead in his crate,” said LaPierre. “The sling shots have got to go,” he continued emotionally. “There is no reason for their existence other than to kill wild birds and innocent pets.”

Congress has long had the means to do regulate deadly weapons; given this tragedy, they now have the reason. With pressure mounting, it seems they may finally have the will.

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