Vermont Cows Demand Royalties From Woody Jackson Art Sales

MONTPELIER – Vermont cows, who recently made news headlines with their state-wide protest to boycott ice cream to call attention to hazardous milking machines, have now filed a statement of claim in Vermont superior court. They are seeking what they say are unpaid royalties on all Woody Jackson artwork that has featured bovine images and visages. The claim includes the art on Ben & Jerry’s ice cream cartons, and is back-dated for thirty years.

“Well, it’s only fair,” said a spokesperson for the cows. “I mean other models get paid for their work, don’t they?”

The reaction from Vermonters has been mixed. Eloise McPherson, a retired actress and flatlander from Long Island who now makes her home in St. Albans called the move by the cows “brilliant.” “I wish I’d had residual payments written into my contracts,” she said. “I had at least a dozen walk-ons in Seinfeld episodes.”

Others were less supportive of the controversial claim, calling it “pure opportunism!”

“I am shocked, shocked!, that it’s come to this,” cried Eugene Hartwell, a businessman and art collector from Middlebury. “I’ve been collecting Woody Jackson’s paintings for years. If they win their case, the assessment for back royalties will ruin me!.”

A source from the herd who asked to remain anonymous has told The Winooski that Woody Jackson and Ben & Jerry’s are the victims of unintended consequences.  She claims that this latest action by the cows was launched in desperation because their ice cream boycott bombed with the public. They were forced to capitulate, abandon their picket lines, and go back to the milking-sheds twice a day or suffer the unhealthy effects of over-strained udders. One can’t, it seems, flout Mother Nature. And now that Ben & Jerry’s has reached a deal to improve conditions for migrant diary workers that did not include any bovine support, the cows are forced to try other avenues.

As of press time, neither Mr. Jackson nor a spokesperson for Ben & Jerry’s could be reached for comment.

Image Credits: Woody Jackson.

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