The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: October 2017

Entire Nation of South Canada Without Power After Storm

October 31, 2017 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – After a devastating weekend windstorm swept through the northeastern quadrant of North America, the tiny nation of South Canada has been left […]

Local Cows Fight to Raise Wages and End Tipping

October 30, 2017 The Winooski 2

WOODSTOCK – Following the lead of other Vermont cow activists, Babs the cow of Woodstock, VT  is leading the charge in the fight to raise […]

Syrup & Cows #021 – 10/29/17

October 29, 2017 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Smuggler’s Notch Sirens Lure Another Truck to Its Death

October 28, 2017 The Winooski 23

CAMBRIDGE – Another tractor-trailer has been lured to its doom by the dangerous creatures who lurk in and around Smuggler’s Notch. The sirens use their […]

Vermont Moves to Deregulate Highways

October 27, 2017 The Winooski 0

WATERBURY – In a move to woo the support of the state’s libertarians and teenage drivers, VT. Secretary of Transportation has announced the deregulation of Vermont’s […]

Local Restaurant Receives Grammar Citation

October 26, 2017 The Winooski 0

PLATTSBURGH, NY – The Chat & Chew, a local eatery famous for its Groundhog Gravy & Bite-em Biscuits, has just received a warning from the New […]

Police Warn of Halloween Candy Laced With Dangerous Life-Saving Vaccines

October 25, 2017 The Winooski 0

WILLISTON – In another blow to the purity of that most simple of childhood pleasures, Vermont State Police are warning parents about the possibility of […]

The Winooski Nominated For Pulitzer By Canadian Fake News Site

October 24, 2017 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – Local satire news site The Winooski, which you are currently reading, has been nominated for a fake Pulitzer Prize by Canadian satire site FauxNews Today. […]

Open Mic Comedy Night Ruined When Deer Freezes in Spotlight

October 23, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Patrons of Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington weren’t laughing on Wednesday evening as the open mic comedy show had to be suspended after one […]

Syrup & Cows #020 – 10/22/17

October 22, 2017 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

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