SOUTH CANADA – After a seeming success at letting their citizens choose a national anthem, the young nation of South Canada is turning to an online contest to find a design for their flag. The system was changed after most of the submissions received for the flag design were deemed “too inappropriate” by Secretary of the Treasury Alan Fletcher.
“I don’t even understand why I’m in charge of this in the first place,” Fletcher said. “How is this in my job description? And then the flags we got in, I mean, well, I can’t really say what was on them. Some of them were a little violent, and a lot of people just drew some, uh, you knows, all over the paper and said they wanted to see me raise them, and well, honestly, you can see why we had to go in a different direction.”
Fletcher reached out the The Winooski for help, and the flag design contest will now be run exclusively through the internet satire publication.
“It only made sense,” Fletcher affirmed. “The Winooski has given our country a lot of coverage. If you looked on any of the other news sites you wouldn’t even know we existed! Plus, now I don’t have to deal with it anymore. The Winooski will pick the top three choices, clean choices, and then I will choose the winning flag from those three. I think it’s a great system.”
Submissions for the South Canadian flag design can be e-mailed to thewinooski@gmail.com any time before December 31st, 2017. The finalists will be sent to Sec. Fletcher in January and a winner will be announced shortly thereafter. The person submitting the winning design will receive fame, honor, and a large cash prize in South Canadian currency.
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