State Creates Department of Frozen Vehicles

MONTPELIER – After a troubling start to the winter season, marked by boats and cars freezing and sinking into the lake, the state of Vermont has decided to create the Department of Frozen Vehicles to more effectively deal with any related future issues. Concern was raised when it was revealed that the state had no official procedures for dealing with half-submerged boats frozen in the ice and, as more and more people are deciding to park their cars and trucks in and under the ice this year, it was clear that a departmental change was needed.

“People have asked us for a solution,” said Emily Boedecker, commissioner of the Vermont Department of Environmental Conservation, “and I clearly indicated that this was outside the scope of my job description.”

“Yeah, I’m not dealing with that,” said Robert Ide, Vermont Commissioner of Motor Vehicles.

“Cars in the lake?” asked Vermont’s Fish and Wildlife Commissioner Louis Porter. “Maybe call Bob Ide about that one?”

The newly formed DFV will be chaired by Jeff Bartley who has stepped down from his position as Vermont GOP executive director to take on this new role. Bartley was appointed by Gov. Scott to lead the DFV, and was praised by the governor for “always keeping his cool.”

Liked it? Take a second to support The Winooski on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.