The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: January 2018

Syrup & Cows #033 – 1/21/18

January 21, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Ben & Jerry’s Creates Limited Batch of Tide Pod Flavored Ice Cream

January 20, 2018 The Winooski 1

WATERBURY – To commemorate the anniversary of Nelson Mandela’s release from prison, which occurred on February 11, 1990, ice cream giant Ben & Jerry’s has […]

Vermont’s Population Continues to Simultaneously Grow and Shrink

January 19, 2018 The Winooski 6

WINOOSKI – As many worry about the viability of the state, thanks to an aging population and low birth rate, Vermont got some good news […]

State Creates Department of Frozen Vehicles

January 18, 2018 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After a troubling start to the winter season, marked by boats and cars freezing and sinking into the lake, the state of Vermont […]

Vermont Woman Accuses Fiction Writers of Being Fake

January 17, 2018 The Winooski 0

BAKERSFIELD – With the proliferation of political lies and inaccurate news stories increasing every day, one local woman has had enough and is on a […]

Gov. Scott Celebrates MLK Day By Announcing a New Prison

January 16, 2018 The Winooski 3

MONTPELIER – We wish this were a satire article. We really do. But it is not. This one really happened. On a day dedicated to […]

MLK Day Celebrations Put on Hold, Citing Lack of Social Progress

January 15, 2018 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – Several events set to focus on the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. were postponed today in Vermont, as organizers struggled to […]

Syrup & Cows #32 – 1/14/18

January 14, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Woolworth’s Buys Outdoor Gear Exchange, Plans to Re-open in March

January 13, 2018 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – With the purchase and closing of Panera Bread on Church Street in downtown Burlington, Outdoor Gear Exchange has announced that they have been […]

Maplefields Doubles Employee Wages, Closes Down All Locations

January 12, 2018 The Winooski 5

ST. ALBANS – Employees at local Vermont gas station chain Maplefields were thrilled this week when owner Skip Vallee announced that, due to the large […]

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