Vermont Schools to Replace Para-Educators With Paratroopers
MONTPELIER – Teachers across the state have been asking for more support from para-educators, even as the budgets for paras has been slashed at both […]
Northern Vermont University Installs Bullet Train Between Lyndon and Johnson
LYNDON – Many questioned the merger between Johnson State College and Lyndon State College, mostly asking why they did not name the new school “Lyndon […]
Gun Used in Nectar’s Shooting Blames Shooter, Claims It Does Not Kill People
BURLINGTON – A 2 AM shooting in downtown Burlington left residents upset and frightened, and many of them were looking to blame the gun itself […]
Syrup & Cows #038 – 2/25/18
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Maple Vampires Begin Ancient Tree Blood Rituals in Preparation for Annual Harvest
SHELBURNE – In the old days they just used their teeth. Now, maple vampires are equipped with a wide array of technological tools to aid […]
South Canadian Luge Team Accidentally Wins Bronze Medal in Olympic Skeleton
SOUTH CANADA – The members of the South Canadian Olympic luge team are being hailed as heroes after a stunning comeback in PyeongChang this week. […]
Students With No Reality TV Experience Attempt To Form Political Opinions
MONTPELIER – High school and college students across the state of Vermont are attempting to form complex and informed opinions on salient political issues, despite […]
VAOT Increases Road Signage in Student Housing
BURLINGTON – In an effort to improve student safety, the Vermont Agency of Transportation (VAOT) has stepped up efforts to place street signs in student […]
South Canadian Fire Department Rescues Cat From Shower
SOUTH CANADA – The newly formed fire department of South Canada has successfully completed its first emergency call, retrieving a cat that had become trapped […]
The Winooski Endorses You For Mayor of Burlington
BURLINGTON – After careful consideration and many weeks of deliberating, The Winooski has chosen to make its first official political endorsement. A thoughtful period of examination […]