Burlington Public Works Team Continues to Dig For Missing Dump Truck

BURLINGTON – Following last week’s cowardly sinkhole attack that claimed a courageous dump truck, Burlington Public Works continued its rescue effort for the missing truck today.  Initially sunk only to its rear axles, concerned residents noticed that the truck had disappeared altogether over the weekend.  With continued digging, however, the Burlington Public Works rescue team is confident that the missing truck will be found.

“There’s all kinds of stuff down there from over the years,” said one DPW official on condition of anonymity.  “It’s less a matter of finding the truck and more of a matter of finding the RIGHT truck, if you know what I mean.”

Early cries of elation at uncovering a buried bumper were silenced quickly when the team sadly realized that it wasn’t the truck that was lost down the sinkhole last week.  Instead, further excavation revealed that the bumper belonged to a 1978 Volvo, reported to still be in good working order.

The Pine Street Sinkhole Collective (PSSC) has been unusually quiet since the recent attack, and the Public Works team has encountered little resistance during the rescue efforts, leading some to wonder if the PSSC has moved operations to Maple Street. Resident are advised to be on high alert when driving any sort of vehicle within 10 blocks of Pine Street.

Image Credits: Jerome Chalker.