Burlington Implements Anti-Urbanist “Take Back Our Streets”

BURLINGTON –  In their continued clash with the Mayor’s agenda to grow Burlington, the City Council passed a Resolution to adopt an Anti-Urbanism policy called “Take Back Our Streets” at their meeting on April 1, 2018.  The fruits of their efforts have begun to appear around town starting with the removal of pavement on Pine Street.  “Pavement and impermeable surfaces add to green house gas emissions and water pollution” says City Councilor Max Tracy.  “The removal of the pavement on Pine Street is going to be the best thing that ever happened in the South End.  They’ve been complaining about traffic forever, and we’ve finally solved the problem for them.”

City Councilor Joan Shannon was a bit more circumspect about the benefits of the project.  “While Pine Street is finally getting the traffic calming we have been asking for,  Shelburne Rd is now bearing the burden of Pine Street traffic.  That will improve when we start the rotary project and remove all the pavement on Shelburne Rd as well.  Eventually we will force all Burlington traffic to South Burlington streets and finally resolve the problem.”

Historians often reminisce about the days when Burlington Streets were merely cow paths and dirt roads.  The President of Preservation Burlington, gave kudos to Burlington’s backward thinking policy noting “Pine Street hasn’t looked this good since 1919 when the first pavement was laid and it all went to hell in a hand basket after that.  I’m glad Burlington is reverting back to dirt roads before the fine craft of crowning a dirt road in mud season was lost for good.”

But there is at least one person in the City who does not see “Take Back Our Streets” policy as progress.  Mayor Weinberger denounced the council action at the time of adoption warning Councilors “by reverting to dirt roads the City will lose all the revenue that currently comes from towing cars during spring street sweeping events and we will be unable to meet our budget needs. “  He was further overheard on a hot mic saying “dammit we’ll just tow all the cars anyway.  We’ll get more money from just randomly turning on the no parking lights when residents least expect it.”