WASHINGTON DC – Phil Scott, the Republican governor of Vermont, has been spending his summer traveling the state in what he calls the “Vermont Capitol for a Day” initiative, essentially moving his office, including his entire cabinet, around the state with him as he visits local communities. This move has been very successful for the governor, and now another prominent Republican has taken notice: U.S. President Donald Trump.
To silence critics who call out his administration on their disastrous foreign policies that have left most of the free world somewhat at odds with the U.S., President Trump has jumped onto Gov. Scott’s plan and decided to move the U.S. Capitol to different cities around the world, starting next week with Moscow. This initiative will begin on Tuesday, as the United States is closed on Monday for Labor Day. The next city on the list to host the U.S. Capitol is Pyongyang, although the president has not confirmed the date for the second event.
“Look, people, we’re going to be in Moscow on Tuesday,” President Trump told reporters this week, “and we’re going to be there for one day. But what is a day, really? I know in the Bible, in my favorite part, the book of First Genesis, it says God created the earth in one day, but a day to God is like, I don’t know, probably a month or two in out modern times, and if a guy who got way more electoral votes than Hillary Clinton can’t follow the Bible, who can we all follow? And I think you will all agree, that someone is me. I have the best days. Some of my days are very long. We have long days here in the White House. So will we be in Moscow past Wednesday? I don’t even know what a ‘Wednesday’ is, because it’s not in the Bible, and I am extremely Christian. So we’re going to move the government to Moscow, and we’ll keep it there until we need to move it. Or ‘one day,’ as I like to call it. Believe me. You’ll love it.”
When asked if they agreed with Trump’s decision to move the entire government of the United States to Moscow indefinitely, 73% of Republicans answered that they did agree, and that Trump would be better able to govern the country in a place like Moscow, where he could be free to do his job without any anti-American corrupting influences around him, like Democrats.
Wait… which Moscow? Are you sure he didn’t mean Moscow, Idaho? This might not be so bad. It’d get him out of WaDC for a while, and in a small college town that’s not quite in the middle of nowhere, but close. My mom went to college there. It has an airport, but the runway is probably too short for Airforce 1, but I bet the hospital would let his helicopter land on the roof. I couldn’t find out if there is a golf course, but I bet anything there is a mini-golf. Pullman, across the border in Washington state, does have a golf course. Traveling back and forth could be hard though. I’m not sure Idaho and Washington are still on speaking terms.