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Trump Claims Biden Inauguration Has Smallest Attendance in Modern History

January 20, 2021 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Former President Donald Trump claimed today that Current US President Jo Biden’s inauguration had the smallest crowd size in recent years, and that […]

Trump Demands to Be Shot From a Cannon as He Exits the White House

January 18, 2021 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Exiting President Donald Trump will reluctantly be leaving the White House on Wednesday morning, but he is demanding a full military sendoff as […]

Trump Confused and Furious That None of His Supporters Voted By Mail

November 6, 2020 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – Temporary President Donald Trump has taken to Twitter to rage against his supporters for not voting by mail. As mail-in ballots are counted, […]

Trump Asks Supporters to Stop Dying Until After They Vote For Him

November 2, 2020 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – In a massive departure from his usual rhetoric, Temporary President Trump has shown some concern for human life and asked Republican voters to […]

New Food Labels Aim to Lower Stress By Downplaying Calorie Counts

October 27, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Food and Drug Administration (FDA) Commissioner Stephen Hahn has announced new guidelines for food labeling. “In line with the Trump Administration’s belief that […]

Masks and Your DNA – CDC Issues New Guidelines

October 17, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In news that has shocked the medical establishment and promises to create more confusion than already exists, the CDC has released new guidelines […]

Leaked Audio Confirms Trump Intentionally Got COVID-19 in an Attempt to Infect Joe Biden

October 2, 2020 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – In a newly released audio recording, which we were originally going to call “shocking,” but, let’s be honest, nothing is shocking anymore, Temporary […]

President Trump Nominates Himself to Fill Justice Ginsburg’s Seat

September 21, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In a move that some called “surprising,” and others called “inevitable,” Temporary President Trump has nominated himself to be appointed to the Supreme […]

Trump Wants to Ban More Than Just TikTok

August 18, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – After declaring that he will ban popular internet application TikTok, Temporary President Trump tweeted that he plans to ban many more apps, especially […]

Biden Seeks To Appoint Vice Presidential Squad, Hopes to Have Several Running Mates

August 15, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In an unprecedented decision, in an effort to appeal to more voters, Joe Biden has asked for a vice presidential “squad” rather than […]

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Recent Posts

  • Trump Claims Biden Inauguration Has Smallest Attendance in Modern History January 20, 2021
  • Trump Demands to Be Shot From a Cannon as He Exits the White House January 18, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #189 – 1/17/21 – Zombies January 17, 2021
  • Skiers Won’t Have to Hold It In January 13, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #188 – 1/10/21 – A Good Run January 10, 2021

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  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on Vermont Sends Gift Basket to Iran, Asks to Be Left Out of Revenge Plans
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on 2019: A Look Back at Vermont’s Most Recent Year Ever
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