Trump Prepares to Pardon Several Turkeys
WASHINGTON – As the national celebrates a day of thanks for the help provided to our earliest settlers by the people we would later exterminate […]
Washington
Democrats Call George Washington As Impeachment Witness; Republicans Question His Patriotism
WASHINGTON – As another day of impeachment hearings drew to a close in the D.C., Democrats called a surprise witness in one of the nation’s […]
Trump Memo Proposes Changing Veterans Day to “4-F Day”
WASHINGTON – Showing a level of disrespect to our nation’s veterans not seen since he literally stole two millions dollars from a veterans charity event […]
Bernie Sanders Angry At Not Being Accused of Relationship With Staffer
WASHINGTON – Back on the campaign trail and in good health after a mild heart issue, Democratic hopeful Bernie Sanders has expressed disappointment that he […]
Bernie Sanders defends Benedict Arnold, calls suggestion that he is a British asset “Outrageous”
WASHINGTON – Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is defending American military general Benedict Arnold this week, calling claims that he may be a British asset “Outrageous” […]
Trump Threatens to Withhold Foreign Aid to Nancy Pelosi Unless She Stops the Impeachment Proceedings
WASHINGTON – Temporary US President Donald Trump has threatened to withhold foreign aid from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi unless she immediately cancels impeachment proceedings against […]
Trump Announces Vigorous Defense of Saudi Arabia, “They were with us after 9/11, in fact a number of them were on the planes”
WASHINGTON – President Trump announced this week that he will bring to bear all of the military might the US can muster to support Saudi […]
Trump Pre-Blames Puerto Rico and the Bahamas For Future Storm Damage
WASHINGTON DC – As another tropical depression begins to develop into what may become Tropical Storm Humberto, US President Donald Trump has informed the islands […]
Trump Vows to Nuke Hurricanes and Make Atlantis Pay For It
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump is firing back against reports that he claimed he would use nuclear weapons to protect the country from hurricanes. […]
Rebuffed by Denmark, Trump Announces Plans to Purchase Vermont
WASHINGTON – President Trump has cancelled his planned visit to Denmark after learning that Greenland is not for sale. We truly wish we were making […]