Rebuffed by Denmark, Trump Announces Plans to Purchase Vermont
WASHINGTON – President Trump has cancelled his planned visit to Denmark after learning that Greenland is not for sale. We truly wish we were making […]
Washington
US Borrows Money From China to Pay for Trade War
WASHINGTON – As fear of a recession looms, the United States Treasury is borrowing more money from China to pay for the repercussions of the […]
Peter Welch Asks Robert Mueller If Members of Congress Can be Charged with Insider Trading After Leaving Office
WASHINGTON – During the much anticipated Robert Mueller testimony, Vermont Congressman Peter Welch used his five minutes to focus on a tangentially related line of […]
Vermont Musician and Businessman Tapped by Trump to Destroy NEA
WASHINGTON – President Trump has announced that Vermont violinist Michael Dabroksi will be the new director of the National Endowment for the Arts. Dabroksi recently […]
Democrats Narrow the Field By Psychically Merging Candidates
WASHINGTON – The Democratic Party made a cryptic announcement on July 4 that has rocked the political world: “Senator Bernie Sanders has undergone a potentially […]
Lincoln Reverses Course, Will Allow South to Secede
WASHINGTON – In a stunning turnaround that goes against everything he once fought for, former president Abraham Lincoln has announced that he regrets fighting to […]
Millionaire Bernie Sanders Tells Angry Mob of Revolutionaries “Let Them Write Books”
WASHINGTON – Speaking from a balcony in Washington DC this week, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders was confronted by an angry crowd of supporters, who questioned […]
Mueller Report Reportedly Confirms Trump Not a Witch
WASHINGTON – While the full public release of the report has been blocked by Mitch McConnell and Senate Republicans, those who have read the entire […]
Trump Announces New Initiative to Fight Social Climate Change
WASHINGTON DC – During his State of the Union address last evening, President Trump surprised many viewers by announcing a new focus on combating social […]
Trump Pledges to Keep Government Open At Least Long Enough to Give SOTU Address
WASHINGTON DC – The longest shutdown in the history of the US Government is coming to a temporary close as President Trump agrees to three […]