Headline Writers Unable to Form Complete Sentences

WINOOSKI – Group of headline writers attempt to write body of article. Writers omit numerous verbs, articles, prepositions. Editors unhappy with staff headline writers. “Article too short!” declare editors at The Winooski. Headline writers research article writing, unable to recall rules learned years ago from expensive liberal arts degree. Writers give up hope of success, submit article as-is. Online satire editors concerned about deadlines, publish article with terrible grammar. Fans of local satire site angry at choppy, truncated article. Headline writers fired from article writing, return to old jobs. Besieged editors promise improved future articles.

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