Alpine Shop Unable to Open For Business As Employees Embrace Slogan

SOUTH BURLINGTON – The owners of The Alpine Shop, located on Williston Road in South Burlington, have had to close their doors after every one of their employees failed to come in to work due to “skiing.” The shop’s famous slogan, heard throughout Vermont on radio, television, and local advertising, is “Ski Today, Work Tomorrow,” and all of the store’s workers have embraced this manifesto wholeheartedly.

“I’m not sure what we can do,” said Peg Rieley, who co-owns the business with her husband. “It would seem awfully hypocritical to ask our employees to put off skiing for work when we have advised so many other Vermonters to be irresponsible and skip out on their jobs. Although when we launched the slogan I don’t think I was quite so aware of the fact that tomorrow never comes.”

New seasonal employees have been hired, but once they realize the cultural loophole of the organization it isn’t long before they too are out on the slopes and not selling items to customers. Rieley is pleased that her employees are having so much fun, but is worried about the future prospects of the company.

“As it turns out, ‘Ski Today, Work Tomorrow’ isn’t a very good slogan for making money,” Rieley admits. “If we can get through this season, we’re hoping to change our advertising to the more specific catchphrase of ‘Ski Today, Go to Work the Day Immediately After Skiing,’ and see if that improves the situation.”