Weston Rejects Free Land Offer, Prefers to Purchase it One Mineral at a Time

WESTON – The Weston Select Board voted this week to reject the donation of a parcel of land gifted to them in the estate of a local resident, stating that they “prefer to acquire our land piecemeal, one mineral at a time.” The board agreed that more land would be a good idea, but to assure the purity of said real estate they would need to focus on which bits of the land would be the best fit for the area.

They followed this vote with another vote to purchase a large amount of sand, which they hope to use to construct a better piece of land than the one offered for free. They also opted to purchase salt to add to the sand at a considerable price.

“We understand that some people won’t understand why we are building our own land, instead of just taking the free land that was offered,” said board member Anne Fuji’i, “but we are only interested in the best quality land, assembled by a local artisan, and sometimes with free, well, you get what you pay for.”

The select board is accepting applications from local dirt artists to create this new Franken-land, and is also hoping to acquire some clay and organic material to add to the sand and salt already purchased. There is no word on where the new land will be placed once it is created, but inside sources report that some board members are hoping to annex part of Landgrove for this purpose, while others are considering making Weston a two-story town, with a new layer of land above the original earth-bound layer.

Image Credits: Leonora (Ellie) Enking.

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