Burlington Police to Receive Training on Yoga-Related Incidents

BURLINGTON – After the infamous City Market yoga riots of 2019, Burlington Chief of Police Brandon Del Pozo has pledged to train his officers on how to deal more appropriately with yoga violence. Burlington police came under fire for their decision to arrest several people for brawling in the local supermarket chain, as Burlington laws do not prohibit public bad behavior.

“I think everyone recognizes a growth opportunity,” Del Pozo said. “These people aren’t hardened criminals; they’re our friends and neighbors and family members. New training will give our officers better tools to deal with hangry yogis.”

New materials and courses will cover moves like de-escalation by wrapping people in their own yoga mats, and just being zen about the whole thing.

“Actually, I would like to address a few things,” said City Market board member June Tzatziki, when asked about the riots and the police response. “First of all, we don’t like being called a ‘supermarket.’ We prefer ‘local co-op.’ And I don’t know that having a second location makes us a chain. Please correct that before you go to print.”

The Winooski would like to clarify that we never ‘go to print,’ as we are an online only publication. But if we ever do print something, we will be sure to address those concerns.

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