Governor Unsure Which Issue He is Most Ambivalent About

MONTPELIER – After what some are calling a frustratingly unproductive legislative session, Vermont Democrats have only a few days left to craft something for the Governor to sign that will advance their very clear agenda. But House Speaker Mitzi Johnson (D-South Hero) says she doesn’t want to draft anything that the Governor won’t sign. Unfortunately the one thing that Gov. Scott can’t decide on is which issue he can’t decide on the most.

When asked about the abortion rights bill, Gov. Scott said that he “fully supported” the document, but when asked whether or not he would sign it, he said only, “Oh, I don’t know, we’ll see. I mean, I like it, but do I like like it? Could go either way.”

Gov. Scott also called climate change “the biggest threat facing us today” that he “may or may not support doing anything about.” Similarly, when asked about the 24-hour waiting period for purchasing handguns in Vermont, he replied, “Now is the time to act on gun safety, but is this the right way? Should it be a 23-hour waiting period? 25 hours? Hard to say. Don’t want to sign anything I’m not 100% on.”

Reporters confronted the Governor outside the statehouse yesterday, asking his opinion on the proposed $15/hr minimum wage, which has now been whittled down to almost no increase at all. When he answered, “Vermonters should make more money. I think. But are we sure about that? What if stuff just costed less? I’d like to see that proposal first before I decide,” he was met with a new question from the crowd.

“Governor Scott!” called out one reporter. “You can’t seem to state a firm position on any proposed legislation at all! Which issue are you the most on-the-fence about?”

The governor paused for a moment, and then said, “You know, that’s a good question. I thought I was most ambivalent about the abortion stuff, but now I’m thinking maybe it’s guns. Or no, you know, it might be climate change. As a businessman, I do feel more strongly about the economics of the state, or do I? Honestly, I don’t think I can pick just one. They all seem so necessary and yet unimportant to me right now. For instance, I’m currently reconsidering my feelings on threatening to have reporters arrested. Can I get back to you in January?”

Image Credits: VTDigger.

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1 Comment

  1. Good one, guys! Pungent and straight to the point. Our own version of that satire site The Onion (note our two onions in the above title). I good a good laugh out of this.

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