MONTPELIER – Faced with tough resistance from current Vermonters over his plan to pay out-of-staters to move to the state and work remotely, Governor Phil Scott is now moving to resurrect another plan to increase the population, according to sources inside the state house. The governor is reportedly looking to reinstate an initiative from 1890 that sought to establish Swedish colonies on abandoned Vermont farmsteads.
“Vermonters of 130 years ago were facing the same concerns we’re facing now,” said an anonymous source, “declining population, especially in rural areas, and the loss of communities centered around farmsteads. We feel the time is right to bring back this program and make Vermont Scandinavian again!”
While the 1890 program was considered to be a complete failure at the time, many now feel that Swedes, Norwegians, Danes, and other assorted Scandinavians will be more receptive to Vermont, thanks to the tireless work of Bernie Sanders and his followers who have tried to bring the state politics and culture closer to these European utopias.
“In 1890 there was a lot of racial and religious discrimination at play, most against the Irish and the Catholic church,” the source said. “But if you look at the country now, I think you’ll find we’ve come a long way towards acceptance of all people, even the Irish Catholics. We think our new farmers will feel right at home here in the land of tolerance and freedom for all Christians of European descent.”