The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: February 2020

Vermont Astronomers Notice Mike Bloomberg Ad on Side of ISS

February 29, 2020 The Winooski 0

HINESBURG – Members of the Vermont Astronomical Society have reported seeing a Mike Bloomberg campaign advertisement plastered to the side of the International Space Station […]

Emboldened State Legislature Forces Governor to Work For Minimum Wage

February 26, 2020 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – The Vermont State Legislature voted this week to overturn Governor Scott’s veto of the higher minimum wage, meaning the state’s new starting wages […]

Local Teddy Bears Fight For Their Right to Unionize After Factory Layoffs

February 24, 2020 The Winooski 0

SHELBURNE – Dozens of cute little teddy bears are marching in front of the Vermont Teddy Bear Company headquarters in Shelburne this morning, but they […]

Syrup & Cows #142 – 2/23/20 – Hump Day

February 23, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Island Pond Woman Thinking Of Moving to Westmore

February 21, 2020 The Winooski 2

ISLAND POND – The small community of Island Pond was shaken this week, as long-time resident Stella Ronde announced she was considering a move to […]

Topless Protesters Disrupt Sanders Campaign Rally, Prompting Other Candidates to Demand the Same Treatment

February 19, 2020 The Winooski 2

CARSON CITY – After topless protesters took the stage at a Bernie Sanders rally this week, other presidential candidates are crying foul, saying they want […]

Only Vegan on Guest List Cancels Just Before Party

February 17, 2020 The Winooski 0

NORTH HERO – The party seemed to be going well, but the hostess was nervously eyeing the hors d’oeuvres table with a rising sense of […]

Syrup & Cows #141 – 2/16/20 – Lost

February 16, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Burlington Mayor Accused of Parking Gas Car in “Mayor Only” Parking Spot

February 14, 2020 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – Still feeling the backlash from his City Market “Bag Scandal,” Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger is now suffering another political blow, after someone photographed […]

Gov. Scott Vetoes Paid Family Leave; “Why Would We Want Them to Leave?”

February 13, 2020 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – Doubling down on what he calls his “Paid Family Stay Program,” Vermont Governor Phil Scott has vetoed the paid family leave legislation passed […]

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