COLCHESTER – Lack of hair dressers has Vermonters shaving their heads bald, according to new reports coming in from Instagram and Snapchat. At the Saint Michael’s Tonsorial and Hair Design Academy, director Harry Cutter sounded the alarm after Vermont shut down hair salons and barber shops. “Our graduates, many of whom are pulling their hair out due to lack of income, are finding out patrons are using simple alternatives like shaving their heads at home. Men, women, kids, they’re making baldness go viral.”
Brady Lockes-Dresser, proprietor of Cheap Clips in South Burlington fears a 50% to 60% reduction in patrons during a time in which he says, “We need lots of locks.” Vermont D.E.C. has expressed concern as well due to increases in clogged sewers and septic systems from hair balls.
Reliable sources in Montpelier indicate a shaving of the regulations is perhaps two months away. In the meantime, no cuts are anticipated. One Vermont presidential candidate has reportedly capitalized on the trend by shaving his own head, saying “Make Vermont bald again! This is gonna be great. No one’s ever gonna make fun of my hair again!”
Image Credits: Groovnik.
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