WASHINGTON – After a sentencing delay due to the Coronavirus pandemic, former national security adviser Michael Flynn’s fate is currently in limbo. Flynn is hoping for a full pardon from Temporary President Trump, but sources inside the White House say that a different kind of punishment may be in the works.
“The president is a fair man,” said impartial co-worker Donald Trump, Jr. “He also loves games, as you know from his time on The Apprentice. So he mentioned to me that what he could do is to make Mike shake hands with everyone here still working in the White House. You know that some of us have corona, but you just don’t know which ones. And will he make it to the restroom to wash his hands before touching his face? And how long can we keep him occupied with ceremonies and stuff? It’s going to be a fun time.”
The White House has indicated their desire to broadcast the sentencing and punishment over the course of three episodes, with potential for a follow-up series if Flynn does indeed contract COVID-19. One anonymous source told us that the ratings would be huge, bigger than any other reality series in the history of television.