The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

Colchester

Style: Vermont’s Newest Hair Trend is Head Shaving

April 2, 2020 The Winooski 1

COLCHESTER – Lack of hair dressers has Vermonters shaving their heads bald, according to new reports coming in from Instagram and Snapchat. At the Saint […]

After 15 Years of Talking About It, Colchester Family Finally Plants Home Garden

March 31, 2020 The Winooski 0

COLCHESTER – “You know, this just seemed like the year to do it,” said Dee Layre as she dug a small trench with her trowel. […]

LGBTQIAPK Community Sued for Discrimination By Rest of Alphabet

November 4, 2019 The Winooski 0

COLCHESTER – A class action lawsuit filed this week by several letters of the alphabet is claiming that the LGBTQIAPK community has shown discrimination by […]

Classical Music Purist Vigilantes Steal Modern Equipment From Chamber Music Festival

August 23, 2019 The Winooski 1

COLCHESTER – The police are currently on the lookout for members of a vigilante music group calling themselves “Da Capo,” believing them to be responsible […]

Colchester to Rebrand as “Newer, Norther End”

July 2, 2019 The Winooski 1

COLCHESTER – The town of Colchester has given up on trying to step out of the shadow of Burlington and will embrace its suburb qualities […]

Skip Vallee Appeals Gas Station Ruling, Challenges Costco to Trial By Combat

April 18, 2019 The Winooski 0

COLCHESTER – In yet another setback for local gas station overlord Skip Vallee, Vermont courts have ruled in favor of allowing Costco to open the […]

Bernie Sanders Announces He Will Run For President as a Republican

February 19, 2019 The Winooski 1

COLCHESTER – Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders announced his 2020 bid for the presidency today on Vermont Public Radio. He promised that many things will be […]

Saint Michael’s College to Downsize and Merge With University of Phoenix Online

January 25, 2019 The Winooski 0

COLCHESTER – Following the news of the closure of Green Mountain College this week, a second Vermont college has announced it will scale back operations […]

Local Non-Profits No Longer Able to Accept Donations as of January 1

January 1, 2019 The Winooski 0

COLCHESTER – If you went to the website for Vermont Public Radio on December 31st, you would have seen that it was your last chance […]

VPR Adds New Station That Plays Only Birdsong

December 21, 2018 Jill Allen 1

COLCHESTER – Fed up with the fact that people’s loud radios drown out bird song, Vermont avian species are teaming up with Vermont Public Radio […]

Posts navigation

1 2 3 »

The Winooski E-mail Updates!

Check out the best of The Winooski over at VTDigger!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Skiers Won’t Have to Hold It In January 13, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #188 – 1/10/21 – A Good Run January 10, 2021
  • Patriots Storm Vermont Capitol to Thank Governor for Hard Work and Dedication January 7, 2021
  • Vermonters Concerned That 2021 is Eerily Similar to 2020 January 4, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #187 – 1/3/21 – Possibilities January 3, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Glen Riten on Patriots Storm Vermont Capitol to Thank Governor for Hard Work and Dedication
  • Johnny Canuck on Patriots Storm Vermont Capitol to Thank Governor for Hard Work and Dedication
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on Vermont Sends Gift Basket to Iran, Asks to Be Left Out of Revenge Plans
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on 2019: A Look Back at Vermont’s Most Recent Year Ever
  • The Winooski on State Explores Unifying All School Districts

Back Issues

Copyright © 2021 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes