MONTPELIER – Representative Millie Lennial, of Middlesex, has introduced a Bill H.2000, that would reduce the work week from forty to thirty-two hours for all Vermont workers. Lennial says the intent of the bill is to increase employment by decreasing work. “It’s simple math,” Lennial states. “For every four workers employed it means another job created.”
Lennial adds that workers losing eight hours pay weekly should accept this joyfully as they are “increasing employment rolls by twenty-five percent.”
Employment Security Analyst Bay B. Boomer provided a statement which partially read: “Wish the Department would have thought of this.” Boomer’s statement went unfinished as most employees in the administration only work thirty-two hours now and her shift was over.
Professor Hiram Outright, of the Vermont State University College of Liberal Progression And Protestature, sees merit in the plan. “Although I’ve personally never held a real job, passage of the bill would give people an extra eight hours to engage in protests. That’s kind of like the French thirty-two hour work week. They get two-hour lunch breaks, and thirty days of vacation as well.” Outright suggests this should be the Vermont norm. “After all, our State Capitol is Montpelier.”
In Washington, the state’s Congressional Delegation opted in to this extent. A spokesperson for Senator Leahy said, “As long as it doesn’t affect those on welfare or public support it’s a good idea. They are the reason we are here with our thirty-two hour jobs.”
Senator Sanders office responded “Anything that advances the cause of Democratic Socialism is well received.”
A spokesperson for Congressman Welch stated his office would respond, “when Welch returns from taking thirty days of his accrued vacation time.”
H-2000 is expected to pass after the allowed thirty-two hours of debate in both houses. It would go into effect thirty-two hours after the Governor signs it or, as he usually does, vetoes it.
Hilarious.
Yours, Donna Leichwerk.