Syrup & Cows #117 – 9/1/19 – Meetings
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Articles by The Winooski
Vermont Asks All Women to Leave State for VP’s Weekend Visit
SOUTH BURLINGTON – Vice President Mike Pence’s plane landed at Burlington International Airport Friday morning, and the Secret Service requested that all the women in […]
Brookfield Purchases Burlington Rail Line, Renames it “CityTrench”
BURLINGTON – Brookfield Asset Management, the company responsible for the creation of Burlington’s beloved downtown pit, is planning a second project that could rival the […]
Citing Declining Readership Outside of Other Sections, Times-Argus Becomes Obituary-Only Newspaper
BARRE – The Barre-Montpelier Times-Argus has switched formats and will now publish only the obituary section of the newspaper. While other stories will appear on […]
Trump Vows to Nuke Hurricanes and Make Atlantis Pay For It
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump is firing back against reports that he claimed he would use nuclear weapons to protect the country from hurricanes. […]
“He Seemed Like a Nice Guy” – Neighbors React to Vermont Man With Only One Job
BURLINGTON – According to reports coming out of Burlington, Lance Freeman lives his life while only holding on to one job. Freeman lives with his […]
Syrup & Cows #116 – 8/25/19 – Young Adults
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Classical Music Purist Vigilantes Steal Modern Equipment From Chamber Music Festival
COLCHESTER – The police are currently on the lookout for members of a vigilante music group calling themselves “Da Capo,” believing them to be responsible […]
Citing Success of Banning Cellphones While Driving, Vermont Bans Cellphones
MONTPELIER – Travelers entering the state of Vermont will no longer be able to retain their mobile devices thanks to a new law passed this […]
Rebuffed by Denmark, Trump Announces Plans to Purchase Vermont
WASHINGTON – President Trump has cancelled his planned visit to Denmark after learning that Greenland is not for sale. We truly wish we were making […]