The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Articles by The Winooski

VT House Passes “Paid Family Leave” Program, in Opposition to Gov. Scott’s “Paid Family Stay” Program

April 5, 2019 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – In a defiant move against the governor, Vermont’s House of Representatives passed a paid family leave program that will pay residents money to […]

Traffic Cones on Church Street Anger Burlington Residents

April 4, 2019 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – The Committee to Protest the Sky is Blue (CPSB) has started a full-on campaign to stop the proposal to place two orange traffic […]

Vermont Moves to Rename Potholes as “Cannabis Holes”

April 3, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Following a scathing news story by temporary actual news site The Winooski on Monday, the Vermont state legislature has taken up a bill […]

Audubon Vermont Releases Climate Change Plan for State Birds

April 2, 2019 The Winooski 4

In our new quest to bring you real news, which we have mostly given up on already, we did want to share this important update […]

Vermont Satire Site “The Winooski” Rebrands as Legitimate News Organization

April 1, 2019 The Winooski 4

WINOOSKI – For almost two years Vermonters have enjoyed the biting satire and silly humor of their premiere local satire site The Winooski, but starting […]

Syrup & Cows #095 – 3/31/19 – Discount Bin

March 31, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Vermont Farmers Fear For Their Lives After AI Becomes Sentient and Goes Rogue

March 30, 2019 The Winooski 0

NORTH FERRISBURGH – Local dairy farmers have had to flee their homes in fear after an artificial insemination machine gained sentience and began attempting to […]

Developer Abandons Burlington CityPlace, Plans Underwater “LakePlace” Complex

March 29, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – After years of planning, false starts, public opposition, and loss of financing, developer Don Sinex has confirmed his intention to abandon Burlington’s CityPlace […]

New Data Shows People Who Spend All Their Money Have Less Money Remaining

March 28, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – In a stunning revelation that is changing everything about how Americans look at finance, a new study released last week has shown that […]

Mueller Report Reportedly Confirms Trump Not a Witch

March 27, 2019 The Winooski 2

WASHINGTON – While the full public release of the report has been blocked by Mitch McConnell and Senate Republicans, those who have read the entire […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
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  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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