The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Articles by The Winooski

Gov Scott Launches Campaign to Promote Smoking, Drinking, Gambling, to Make Up For Lost Gas, Sales Taxes

March 16, 2019 The Winooski 2

MONTPELIER – Tax income in Vermont is down. As residents turn to electric cars, gas tax revenue is beginning to decline. Reduce, reuse, recycle campaigns […]

14 Parents and Staff Charged with 4-H Related Fraud in Mountain School Admissions Scandal

March 15, 2019 The Winooski 2

VERSHIRE – In the wake of the scandal that rocked the world of America’s most elite colleges this week, further scrutiny into other programs has […]

Facebook, Instagram Down; Happiness Index Soars

March 14, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Vermont has recently been ranked as the best place to live in America, beating out Hawaii for the happiest state for the first […]

NASA Tests Out New Asteroid Rover on Vermont Roads

March 13, 2019 The Winooski 0

WOODSTOCK – With NASA’s OSIRIS-REx making a successful landing on asteroid Bennu in December, more missions are planned, including advanced rovers that will drive over […]

Under Pressure From the State, UVM Medical Center Finally Admits Numbers and Prices are Imaginary Concepts

March 12, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Facing intense scrutiny from the state legislature following the discussion around bill S.31, the University of Vermont Medical Center has admitted that, were […]

VT Solves Sign Shortage by Only Labeling Road Areas with No Bumps

March 11, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After a negotitation breakdown with the governor of New Hampshire, Vermont Governor Phil Scott has come up with a new plan to solve […]

Syrup & Cows #092 – 3/10/19 – Thin Thursday?

March 10, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Fire Danger Low in Vermont For 137th Consecutive Day

March 9, 2019 The Winooski 0

CAMBRIDGE – In what is being hailed as a major victory for Vermont’s fire safety record, the state has now seen its 137th straight day […]

Vermont Begs New Hampshire For Help During “BUMP” Sign Shortage

March 8, 2019 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – Vermont Governor Phil Scott has had to swallow his pride this week and turn to his greatest nemesis for help: the state of […]

Winooski Voters Confirm They Elected Kristine Lott Because Their Dogs Liked Her Better

March 7, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Incoming Winooski mayor Kristine Lott, the first woman to hold the position, was elected 650-478 on Tuesday, largely in part to the opinions […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
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  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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