The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Articles by The Winooski

Fairfield Elects New Lord High Executioner, Burlington Votes to Abolish Church Street, and Other Town Meeting Day 2019 Results

March 6, 2019 The Winooski 3

The results are in! If you’re wondering how your town voted this year on that contentious ballot item, look no further than The Winooski. Here […]

Vermonters Concerned About Lack of Ballot Items Concerning Women’s Bodies

March 5, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – All across the state of Vermont today people are lining up to cast their votes on local issues and representation, but one topic […]

Vermonters Prepare to Shout at Their Neighbors For the First Time Since the Snow Started

March 4, 2019 The Winooski 0

HUNTINGTON – As Town Meeting Day approaches, residents all over the state of Vermont are gearing up to get cantankerous with their neighbors, many of […]

Syrup & Cows #091 – 3/3/19 – City Annex

March 3, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Rural Vermont Farmer Announces Bid For US Presidency

March 2, 2019 The Winooski 1

CHARLOTTE – It wasn’t a typical press conference, held in a barn at the end of a long dirt road dug deep with the frozen […]

Artificial Snow Industry Struggling to Keep Up With Lack of Demand

February 28, 2019 The Winooski 0

JEFFERSONVILLE – A collective groan could be heard throughout the room as the weather forecast was announced. “Again?!” shouted a voice from the back. “Seriously?” […]

United Methodist Church Votes to Exclude Any Members Over the Age of 33

February 27, 2019 The Winooski 18

ST. LOUIS – Churches throughout Vermont, the country, and the world were stunned yesterday when a special conference of the international United Methodist Church voted […]

Burlington Residents Sue City to Prevent Pothole Repair

February 26, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – A citizens group in Vermont’s largest city has filed a suit against Burlington that would prevent the repair or filling of any potholes, […]

Cold Feet Start to Bern Enthusiasm for Sanders in Burlington

February 25, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Bernie Sanders is once again running for President. The former Mayor and long-term resident of the Queen City could actually be elected President. […]

Syrup & Cows #090 – 2/24/19 – Entering the Race

February 24, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

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Recent Posts

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