The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

Montpelier

Vermont DMV Ushers in the Apocalypse by Recognizing Third Gender

January 6, 2018 The Winooski 2

MONTPELIER – Despite warnings from The Burlington Free Press, Vermont’s Department of Motor Vehicles has moved toward offering a third gender on driver’s licenses, triggering the events […]

Vermont Decriminalizes Speeding

December 26, 2017 The Winooski 3

MONTPELIER – After Lt. John Flannigan, commander of the state police’s safety programs, reported a large rise in the number of speeding violations, citations, and […]

Former VT GOP Head Dave Sunderland Revealed to Be a Bot

December 20, 2017 The Winooski 0

RUTLAND – After a series of repeated tweets this past week, authorities have revealed that “Dave Sunderland,” former chair of the Vermont Republican Party, does […]

Lt. Governor Dave Zuckerman Steps Down Amid Allegations of Star Wars Spoilers

December 18, 2017 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After several complaints by unnamed staffers over the weekend, Vermont Lt. Governor Dave Zuckerman has announced his intention to step down amid a […]

VT Releases List of 7 Words Banned in Official Legislation

December 16, 2017 The Winooski 29

MONTPELIER – The Vermont legislature has been advised to avoid certain words while drafting policies and legislation. This order, which came directly from the governor’s […]

Vermont to Begin Collecting Sales Tax on Gifts From Santa

December 13, 2017 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After a controversial decision to crack down on sales tax from online retailers such as Amazon.com, the state of Vermont has decided to […]

Gov. Scott Announces Mandatory Sexual Harassment Training For That One Guy

December 7, 2017 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER –  Vermont Governor Phil Scott announced a new mandatory ethics training that will deal with sexual harassment in the workplace. This training will be […]

Vermont’s Controversial “Extended Vacation” to begin in 2019

November 28, 2017 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Beginning in 2019, students in Vermont’s public schools will have the entire month of December off. Parents are livid; teachers are celebrating; students don’t […]

Gov. Scott Approves Roadside Punching Test for Marijuana

November 27, 2017 The Winooski 2

MONTPELIER – Governor Scott’s legal marijuana research group has approved a new roadside testing procedure to determine whether or not the driver has been impaired […]

Vermont Scraps Carbon Tax, Writes Tickets For Littering Instead

November 14, 2017 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – In a change of direction for Energy Independent Vermont, lobbyists have given up on getting a carbon tax passed for gasoline, diesel, natural […]

Posts navigation

« 1 … 16 17 18 … 20 »

The Winooski E-mail Updates!

Check out the best of The Winooski over at VTDigger!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Strangest Laws in Vermont - Liner Law on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • 2inscrutable on Breaking News: Other States Also Have Weather
  • Robert on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

Back Issues

Copyright © 2025 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes