AG Jeff Sessions Sues Vermont Maple Industry
WASHINGTON, DC – Attorney General Jeff Sessions is suing the State of Vermont Maple Industry, alleging the state’s proprietary claims violate Federal Law. “This is […]
Vermont Life
Voters Concerned Local Ballots Do Not Reflect Their Individual Personalities
RUTLAND – Despite campaigns designed to increase voter turnout this Tuesday, officials are concerned that many Vermonters are not planning to vote in their local […]
Vermonters Sue, Say Texting While Driving Laws Violate 1st Amendment Rights
WINOOSKI – Several Vermont cell phone owners are reacting negatively to traffic tickets received for texting while driving, saying that any restrictions on mobile devices […]
Northern Vermont University Installs Bullet Train Between Lyndon and Johnson
LYNDON – Many questioned the merger between Johnson State College and Lyndon State College, mostly asking why they did not name the new school “Lyndon […]
Maple Vampires Begin Ancient Tree Blood Rituals in Preparation for Annual Harvest
SHELBURNE – In the old days they just used their teeth. Now, maple vampires are equipped with a wide array of technological tools to aid […]
Vermont Students to Join National Day of Protest on March 2, 14, April 20, May 1, 7-31, and June 4-15
VERMONT – As the nation still reels from the school shooting in Florida, and Vermont comes to grips with the shooting that almost was, high […]
Satire Writers Forced To Scrap Article After Discovering The Thing Really Happened
WINOOSKI – Writers for the local Vermont satirical news site The Winooski are finding it harder and harder to do their jobs, they say, because they […]
Scientists Find When Cows Drink Maple Syrup The Flavor Carries Over Into Their Milk
WINOOSKI – A team of agricultural scientists in Vermont has made a startling discovery this week. They found that dairy cows, when fed enough maple […]
Patriots Lose 41-33 After St. Albans Man Sits on Different Couch Cushion
ST. ALBANS – The New England Patriots suffered a devastating loss to the Philadelphia Eagles Sunday night after a local fan failed to sit on […]
Keurig Announces New Dr. Pepper and Snapple Flavored Coffee
WATERBURY – Vermont beverage giant Keurig Green Mountain has announced plans to introduce new flavors of coffee after its recent acquisition of Dr. Pepper Snapple […]