The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Americans Spend Day Honoring Fallen Heroes by Desecrating Flag

May 28, 2018 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – Vermonters joined the millions of Americans today in a disrespectful and shameful celebration of those who gave their lives defending the freedoms that […]

Vermonters Able to Set Aside Differences to Focus on Important Issues

May 19, 2018 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – As the U.S. saw two school shootings in one day and some Vermonters vocally protested new gun laws recently signed by Governor Phil […]

Vermonters Agree, World Was Less Complicated When They Were Younger and Stupider

May 18, 2018 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – A new survey of Vermonters has shown that the majority of residents believe the world was far less complicated back when they didn’t […]

Vermont Satire Writers Run Out of Ideas, Start Repeating Jokes

May 16, 2018 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski hit a new low yesterday when it ran an article that was an almost identical copy of […]

Man Accidentally Wears Greenest Shirt A Day Early

March 17, 2018 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Trevor Walsh of Winooski, VT was horrified on Saturday morning when he woke up and saw his best green t-shirt sitting in the […]

God Participates in National School Walkout Day

March 14, 2018 The Winooski 3

WINOOSKI – In a major blow to the gun lobby, the NRA, and congressional Republicans, God has come out in support of increased gun legislation […]

Vermonters Sue, Say Texting While Driving Laws Violate 1st Amendment Rights

March 2, 2018 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Several Vermont cell phone owners are reacting negatively to traffic tickets received for texting while driving, saying that any restrictions on mobile devices […]

Satire Writers Forced To Scrap Article After Discovering The Thing Really Happened

February 15, 2018 The Winooski 5

WINOOSKI – Writers for the local Vermont satirical news site The Winooski are finding it harder and harder to do their jobs, they say, because they […]

Scientists Find When Cows Drink Maple Syrup The Flavor Carries Over Into Their Milk

February 12, 2018 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – A team of agricultural scientists in Vermont has made a startling discovery this week. They found that dairy cows, when fed enough maple […]

Vermont Closed Today Due to Sickness

January 26, 2018 The Winooski 1

WINOOSKI – The entire state of Vermont is closed today, due to the fact that all of its citizens have taken ill. Between colds, the […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
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  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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