MONTPELIER – In a landmark decision this week, the Vermont Supreme Court has ruled that there was not enough evidence to hold a young student who has been accused of attempting to attack and kill several high-level government officials. Luke S. was caught and arrested in Cloud City, VT as part of a potential terrorist cell plotting governmental overthrow. There may also be evidence linking the young mystical arts student to last year’s bombing of a cutting edge military base.
Although Luke S. was not actually successful in his attack on the senior officer, there seemed to be ample evidence that his intent was clear. However, the court ruled that if he had really tried, he would have been more successful, and that his general wimpiness and whining was proof that he never really had his heart in it at all.
“Do, or do not,” Justice Yoda said in his ruling. “There is no try. Hard to make an attack, it is not. Staying at home, writing journal, whining to friends, easier it is. Evidence that young defendant had a chance, there is not. Stayed to complete his training, he should have.”
Prosecutors were stunned by the ruling, believing that sufficient evidence had been collected, and some accused the court of trying to gain national attention for itself with this tenuous ruling.
“Adventure, excitement, a supreme court justice craves not these things,” Justice Yoda said after the ruling. “If this path you choose to follow, a media circus this will become. But my doing, it will not be.”