“Put it Back” Orders City Council to Sinex

BURLINGTON – A quirky loophole in Burlington’s “Planning, Zoning and Construction Procedures & Policies” has thrown a major obstacle in the construction of Don Sinex’s “City Space”. At a specially-called City Council meeting on Thursday, May 11, the decision was made: Sinex must not only stop all demolition; he has to put everything back exactly the way it was while addressing the requirement: “No Pounding”.

The initial complaint came from L.L. Bean when kayaks began falling off the walls of their store during recent demolition. “Someone could have been hurt real bad,” said a store employee who wished to remain anonymous. The Winooski learned that Starbucks on Church Street partnered with L.L Bean in filing a complaint to the city. “I know they have been spraying water all over the place, trying to keep the dust down,” said the daytime manager at the popular coffee shop and hangout. “But we were still getting dust particles in our coffee. And it was really affecting the subtle flavors and fragrances in our Teavana Shaken Pineapple Black Tea Infusion.

Attorneys for the two businesses discovered the restriction in the codes. “It’s right there – in yellow and red – ‘No Pounding’. Mr. Sinex is in flagrant violation. He has to put everything back just as it was. Once he has done that, he can submit a new plan for the demolition phase of his project.” Sinex was last seen getting on a plane headed for North Korea. “Maybe I can get something built over there,” he was heard muttering as stepped onboard the aircraft.