Emergency Case of Summer Confirmed by Government

MONTPELIER – Vermonters were thrust into emergency mode late Friday afternoon. It was as unexpected as it was frightening.

“I was out spreading manure,” said Barnard farmer Dustin Peevely. “I noticed the stuff coming out of the spreader seemed a bit more liquid than usual, but I didn’t really pay it no mind.”

“I noticed the pavement seemed to be wiggling,” said heavy machine operator Lynn Farnham of Hubbardton, speaking to The Winooski’s Farm, Garden & Compost reporter Dark Memers. “I’ve seen this before and seen my rig leave imprints on the road. I’ve always thought it was kind of cool.”

‘Cool’ it was not. Peevely, Farnham and many other Vermonters were informed – suddenly, with little or no warning – by the State of Vermont Emergency Management that a potentially deadly heat wave was about to blanket our state. Jake Smithers, sitting outside the Westford General Store, responded to the warning with characteristic old Vermonter calm. “It’s hot, a-yuh. Tends to get that way in summer,” he noted. When pushed as to the steps he was going to take to fend off the heat, Smithers replied: “I’m gonna set here for a while, finish the cold beverage I’ve got in the can in this bag, then I figure I’ll mosey on home, feed the cat, open a can of beans and watch Jeopardy re-runs.”

“We’ve always had a spell or two of good heat,” said Maddie Waresom of Tinmouth. “Nobody ever had to tell us to take it easy until recently. Don’t need no government official to tell me it’s hot! I can sort of figure that out for myself.”

The heat wave is expected to last through the week, and the hope of many is that it will feel like summer at least until August 15th.

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