Messiah Sing-Along Conductor Refuses to End Concert Until Audience Places Their Final Consonants Together

MIDDLEBURY – Police have been alerted to a potential hostage situation at the Congregational Church in Middlebury after reports came in that audience members at the annual Messiah Sing-Along were being held indefinitely against their will. The two-hour concert failed to end at 4 PM and was still going on as of press time, more than 16 hours later.

“No one is being held against their will,” shouted the conductor from the podium at the front of the beautifully decorated sanctuary filled with over 400 people. “As soon as I hear a nice, crisp ‘s’ at the end of ‘kings’ they are free to go. Okay people, one more time from the top, Hallelujah Chorus, this is the one, I can feel it!”

Audience members began texting loved ones to inform them of the delay, and after six or seven hours the police began to receive text messages as well, asking for help.

“Don’t know when I will be home, gotta go, conductor has started confiscating phones, says it is rude, oh god, he’s coming, I love you,” said one message that managed to make it out of the building around 8:45 PM Sunday evening.

“We’re aware of the situation,” said one Middlebury police officer, stationed outside of the church. “We’ll step in if we need to, but for the moment we’re enjoying the glorious music. And honestly, yeah, they could be a little more together if you ask me. I know they’re amateurs, but seriously, Handel deserves excellence.”