Vermont Musician and Businessman Tapped by Trump to Destroy NEA

WASHINGTON – President Trump has announced that Vermont violinist Michael Dabroksi will be the new director of the National Endowment for the Arts. Dabroksi recently and suddenly left his position at the Vermont Mozart Festival with no notice.

“I couldn’t be more excited,” President Trump told the two members of the press who are still allowed inside the White House. “Michael is everything I’m looking for in terms of the NEA. He has a bold new strategy that combines business and innovation in an effort to truly destroy arts organizations. First he cleverly started and abandoned the Burlington Ensemble, which he left to join Burlington College. Burlington College then went belly up. Coincidence? You tell me. Now he’s revived and irreversibly damaged the Vermont Mozart Festival. I’m telling you, this guy is exactly what the NEA needs.”

Dabroski deftly evaded all questions about his multiple failed business models and the angry hordes of Vermont musicians he is leaving behind in financial ruin, but he did express his regret that he is unable to leave his mark on more of Vermont’s fine musical institutions.