Vermont Divorce Rates Surge as Married Couples Disagree Over Whether or Not to Haul the AC Up From the Basement

BRATTLEBORO – Vermont has seen a sharp spike in the number of people filing for divorce this weekend, as many couples have experiences heat-related strains in their relationships. While the number one reason listed for the divorces is still “irreconcilable differences,” many forms have also listed “air conditioning” as a primary or secondary reason for the sudden split.

“I’m not sayin’ it wasn’t hot,” said Brattleboro resident Jerry Benjamin, “I’m just sayin’ it wasn’t hot enough for me to go down into the basement and dig out the window unit and then drag it upstairs two flights into the bedroom. Plus we don’t none of us here work for the electric company, so if it ain’t three digits hot out, I don’t believe we need any artificial coolin’. Seems my wife disagrees.”

Temperatures blazed into the high nineties across Vermont this past weekend, with heat and weather advisories being issued by any service that has the capacity to do so. It was so hot that Pokemon Go players reportedly caught a record number of Pokemon, after finding hundreds of the creatures passed out from heat exhaustion. The weekend also saw a healthy bump in the sales of sit-in freezers.

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