WINOOSKI – Local satire website The Winooski is interviewing employees after several sensitive documents were seemingly leaked from private company servers. The documents contained many proprietary ideas for future potential satire articles, many of which are now being used by politicians.
“I don’t know who the leak is yet,” said site founder and editor Adam Hall, “but I know someone has stolen some of our best ideas and distributed them. Too many are popping up in the news for this to be a coincidence.”
Some of the ideas that Hall says were slated for use in satirical articles include Vermont’s Governor Phil Scott being the only Republican to support the impeachment inquiry, the White House sending all of its Ukraine talking points to the Democrats, and US President Donald Trump tweeting about grammar while using poor grammar himself.
“It’s hard enough to come up with ideas these days as it is,” Hall whined. “We don’t need people finding out what joke we were going to make ahead of time and then really doing it. We’ll be out of business in no time if this keeps happening!”
Anyone with any information about the source of the leaks should contact The Winooski at firstname.lastname@example.org.